In our Mindshifters Support Group last night, the discussion about special relationships continued.  It became apparent that several people had interpreted the conversation about special relationships to mean that we should not have any passion, affection, or preference in our relationships.  Nothing could be further from the truth!  We will of course have preferences for some people, places, and things over other people, places, and things.  This is natural and healthy.

The difficulty enters when I think I have to have a special relationship in order to have value, or be worthy, or be happy.  The difficulty arises when I feel tension, sadness, regret, or anger and I think it is because I don’t have a special relationship, or that a special relationship has ended.  In this case, I have misinterpreted the alarm system within me, (which is designed to let me know I am in error), and assumed that my pain means that someone or something else should change, or that the world is wrong!  

“Special Relationships” only have the meaning we attribute to them.  The words we use to describe those relationships only have the meanings we attribute to them.  When I construct a meaning about a relationship that says, “I only have value because of this relationship.”, or “I don’t have value unless I have a certain relationship.”, then I create fear, pain, or tension within myself and hide the source of the fear, pain, or tension from myself.

The quote from Albert Einstein – 

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

He does not say that because my personal desires and affection for people closest to me creates a prison for me, that I should cease all desires and affection for people!  He says that I can only free myself from that prison by having more affection and compassion and extend it to all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.  

A Course In Miracles cautions me not to withhold the essence of my nature, Love, from anyone or anything.  If I do, I am hiding a wound, or pain within me and blocking the healing power of Love from entering there.  

Love, creation, Life is not a zero sum game.  When I give affection, I have not lost anything.  When I extend the awareness of the Love that I am made of, I only get to experience it more fully and more directly!  These teachings encourage us to continually work to become more directly aware of our True nature as the energy of Love, and Creation, and then to extend that energy and awareness to everyone and everything, in every interaction.

We Come From Love.  We Are Made Of Love.  We Are Love!  Everything else is False.

The concept of “Specialness” and “Special” Relationships often stirs up quite a bit of emotional energy when it gets raised as a topic in our groups, or on the Mindshifters Internet Radio Show.  This is probably because we are living in a culture where the economy is driven by advertisers who tell us that we all need to be special and find a way to stand out from the crowd.  We need to be prettier, stronger, thinner, sexier, smarter, richer, etc.  We are also told that as social creatures we “need” to be in a relationship.  Some of us are told that we are not “complete” unless we are in a relationship, that we are in some way defective if we can’t find someone to “love” us exclusively.

I begin with this conversation by bringing out the big name –  Albert Einstein –  

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

So, without even having to reach deep into various spiritual traditions and find explorations about how all yearning for specialness is the work of the ego, or “Edging Out God”, we can just tap into what Einstein lays out for us and realize that specialness creates a prison, and is born of the optical delusion that has us believing that we are separate.

After a recent discussion on the Mindshifters Internet Radio Show on March 16, 2018, during which a caller was struggling with difficult emotions around needing to feel special, it came to me to write down the following observation.

“In order to create any desire for “Specialness”, or a “Special Relationship”, I must first hide from myself the awareness of The Miracle of Life expressing through me and as me in this moment.”

I present this for your consideration and your comments as we continue to explore together the ways to find and remove every blockage to experiencing ourselves as the energy of Love expressing in form.

We Come From Love.  We Are Made Of Love.  We Are Love.  Everything else is False.

Dear Friends,

As many of you know, I have been teaching an all-day class on EFT tapping at Relax 4 Life in Barrington, IL, two or three times a year for over ten years now.  The last class there was March 3, 2018, after which Neal Harris asked if I would like to teach something else at his center.  He suggested that I teach something from Dr. Michael Ryce’s body of work, (probably because he noticed that I can’t stop myself from talking about how this work has dramatically improved my life).

The result was, that after some discussion, I have agreed to teach the following class on June 2, 2018 at Relax 4 Life – “Changing Your Current Reality”.  In this class I will teach The Reality Management Worksheet, and the Mind/Goal Management Worksheet from Dr. Michael Ryce.  These two tools and the knowledge about how my mind creates stress with the goals I set, have changed my life for the better in ways that go beyond words!

Please forward this information to anyone you know who may be interested.  Please also note that for the first time that I am aware of, continuing education credits will be available for the learning of these powerful tools!  So, if you know someone who needs CEU’s for their license or registration in their profession, have them check with Neal at Relax4life.com and see if he will offer the CEU’s they need.

https://www.relax4life.com/workshops/changing-your-current-reality/

We Come From Love.  We Are Made Of Love.  We Are Love.  Everything else is False.

Dear Friends,

I was privileged once again to be asked to speak at the Unity Church in Rockford, IL this past Sunday.

Here is the link to the audio of that talk.

Dr. Hayes Speaking at Rockford Unity

I will also include a link to the Mindshifters Internet Radio Show from today, since it is fresh in my mind, and I was left with this quote bouncing around in my head after the show:

“Wisdom is not possessed, it is Accessed.”

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mindshiftersradio/2018/03/13/mindshifters-radio-with-host-dr-michael-and-jeanie-ryce

We Come From Love.  We Are Made Of Love.  We Are Love!  Everything else is False.